I still have a lot of catching up to do but I just needed to take a moment to tell everyone about what a wonderful husband I have.
It's interesting what this separation has meant to us. So many different emotions. So many changes. So many BIG decisions. So many tender mercies. So many opportunities to grow.
I keep reflecting on how we felt about each other when we got married. I can honestly say that I thought Clay was a great guy then, very handsome, very confident, so knowing what he wanted in life. I had never felt so completely comfortable with someone. I could be myself with him and he put me at ease so easily. I trusted him with everything.
I remember when we "decided" to get married one night. Not the typical engagement story. We sat and talked about how we felt about each other, where we thought this relationship might lead, and before I knew it, I was pulling out my planner to pick a date. Crazy, huh? I still remember going home that night and being in shock. What just happened? It's not supposed to be a casual conversation like that, is it? It just seemed so natural.
It was Easter weekend and for the only time in my life, every time we tried to call, we were told all the circuits were busy. A couple of nights later, we finally were able to have him talk with my dad on the phone. My dad asked, "Who are you?" Great impression?
Clay had just met them that weekend when we both went up to the Salt Lake Temple and met my parents there to do an endowment session. Neither one of us had been in that temple before and enjoyed looking at everything. After Clay asked my dad if he could marry me, my dad asked if his daughter was there. I got on the phone and my dad asked if I had prayed about this. I remember praying about it several times. I knew things wouldn't be easy in our marriage, but I KNEW that we were to get married. I couldn't go back. I had to proceed with faith that this is what we were to do. I KNEW we were to get married. I had faith that we would make it some how. I can't second guess His will. My roommates, our family home evening group, and several friends thought I was crazy. He was a bit of a player (he doesn't think so) but I KNEW we needed to get married regardless of what others thought.
We've had some interesting challenges, some I never could have imagined. The first several years were hard on both of us. But through these challenges, we've had to learn how to make it work. We both knew that Heavenly Father wanted us to get married and we needed to make it work. We knew we had made covenants we weren't willing to break.
A week or so ago, we were listening to the radio and a song came on, I think it's called "Run to You". Christina commented that every time she heard that song, it reminded her of us. I asked her what she meant. She replied, "When things get hard, you guys just get closer together and want to be together." She's so right. I wish that I had my hubby tonight. He's been really struggling lately and wants to come home so bad. It's so hard not to say, give it up and come home, because I can't wait for him to come home. But I will, because it's His will.
We found out a couple of weeks ago that Clay could get out of the army because of fraudulent enlistment if we wanted him to. He could then get back in when he goes to DO school, and sign in the right way. When we were together last week, we had the opportunity to finally go to the temple again. It seemed like it had been forever since we were able to be there together. It felt so good to sit with my wonderful husband in the celestial room and talk about our future. I feel so blessed to have such a great man who is working so hard for our family. We've both had to make sacrifices and change so much during this time apart. I am so grateful for the changes that have happened.
We have a separate blog, just for the two of us, to write letters to each other while he's been gone. It's a tradition I want to continue. We have a song list on there and it's amazing to me the songs he finds where the words are so perfect. I'm so grateful to now be married to my best friend. I am so grateful for the wonderful man he's become. I could only see the slightest glimpse of this when we got married but I knew he could be such a wonderful man and he is! I'm so grateful for everything he is doing and for the wonderful example he's setting for our two boys. I know he's so worried about what kind of example he's setting because he didn't feel like he had the best example of a father/husband growing up. He has learned from his Heavenly Father how to be the kind of father he is. Clay's not perfect, but neither am I. I'm so glad he's willing to listen to me ramble, and forgive me for all of my faults.
I love you honey! I'm anxiously awaiting for you to come home!!!! 26 days to go! I can't wait to be a family again. I can only imagine what it must be like on the other side waiting for your eternal companion to come home again. It will be heaven when he comes!
There's a fairly new song by Martina McBride, called "I just call you mine". I heard this song first when I was out visiting Clay for the July 4th weekend. It's perfect. Here's the lyrics--
I pinch myself
Sometimes to make sure I'm not in a dream
That's how it seems
I close my eyes and breathe in the sweetest moments I've ever known
It feels like home
And here I am
I want to be your everything
There you are
Turning winter into spring
And everyone that sees you
Always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're a standing ovation
After years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
Yeahhhh
I just call you mine
I fall apart
And just a word from you
Somehow seems to fix
Whatever's wrong
Ohh
You reach into the weakest moments and remind me that I'm strong
You gotta know
I'd be a fool not to see or even worse to forget
That you're more than I deserve
Cause everyone that sees you
Always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're a standing ovation
After years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
Nothing makes sense when you're not here
As if my whole world disappears
Without you what's the point of it
Cause everyone that sees you
Always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're the dream that I've been chasing
After years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
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