3 months down

We've made it 3 months now.  I feel like kind of a wimp because I struggle still with having him gone and it isn't supposed to be the full 12 months like everyone else is doing.

I started a week before Easter thing with the kids I found online trying to make Easter more real for all of us.  They have a neat thing in the Friend that I'm using too.

Yesterday we had our Easter presentation at church.  It was very beautiful.  Jonathan and Amanda both went to sit with others so I only had the two youngest and two oldest.  Even though the two youngest both wanted me to hold them, I still was able to feel the spirit again.

After church I found some brethren to give Ethan a blessing in preparation for the surgery on Friday.  It was wonderful.  Then as I got up, one of the brothers asked if I needed one two.  I could have cried.  He gave me a beautiful blessing.  What surprised me was what he said after the blessing.  I wonder what he felt/heard while he was giving me the blessing.  They were some very tender comments speaking from his heart to mine.  I don't know how else to describe it.  One in particular really got me because it was a recognition of things I've felt and was promised in a blessing before Clay left.

Last night I got the kids to bed and worked on my talk for next Sunday.  My mind was still going and I had a hard time stopping and going to bed.  Ethan was up again a lot last night.  He just wanted to be held.  It looks like he has 2-3 more teeth on the verge of breaking through on the top of his mouth.  Poor guy.  Maybe the pain medication from the surgery will be relief in more was than one.